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Food, Feelings, and Finding Balance: Understanding Disordered Eating

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January 21, 2026 General /Family
Food Feelings and Finding Balance

Food, Feelings - finding Food, Feelings, and Finding Balance: Understanding Disordered Eating

Kelli almost spilled her morning coffee when she heard her 4-year-old say, “I’m getting fat. I need to lose weight.”

Her heart sank. She knew those words sounded a lot like the things she said to herself every day.
Kelli often skipped meals, tried every new diet she saw online, and worked hard to get back to her “before-kids” body. But now she wondered, Have I gone too far? Could this be a sign of something more?
You’re not alone if you’ve had similar thoughts. Many parents feel pressure to look a certain way, and it’s easy for that stress to spill over into how we talk about food and our bodies.

The good news: you can break the cycle. You can teach your child to feel strong, confident, and safe around food – starting with being gentle with yourself.

What Is Disordered Eating?

Disordered eating includes habits and thoughts about food that don’t feel healthy or balanced. These can include:

  • Skipping meals
  • Fasting or avoiding whole food groups
  • Eating large amounts of food at once
  • Using diet pills, laxatives, or extra exercise to lose weight

These behaviors may seem “normal” because diet culture is everywhere, but they can be harmful for you and for your child.

eating-disorders What Are Eating Disorders?

Eating disorders are medical and mental health conditions. They can affect your body, your feelings, and your everyday life. Anyone can have an eating disorder – no matter their age, body size, or background.

Types of Eating Disorders:

Anorexia Nervosa (AN) People with AN fear gaining weight and severely limit their food. They may over-exercise, use laxatives, or eat very little.
Binge Eating Disorder (BED) People with BED eat large amounts of food in a short time and often feel out of control. They may eat to cope with stress or difficult feelings.
Bulimia Nervosa (BN) People with BN binge eat and then try to “undo” it by vomiting, over-exercising, or using diet pills or laxatives.
Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)(BN) ARFID is not about body image. Instead, people with ARFiD avoid certain foods because of texture, taste, fear of choking, or past scary experiences. Kids may seem “extremely picky” and may feel stressed or afraid at mealtimes.

eating-disorders Why This Matters for Parents

Kids notice everything – especially how we talk about our bodies and food.

Moms and caregivers are powerful role models. When you speak kindly about your body, choose balanced meals, and enjoy food without shame, your child learns to do the same. Eating disorders can affect kids too. Children of parents with eating disorders are more likely to struggle with feelings, behavior, and food. Your own healing can help protect your child.

And remember, there’s no single cause for disordered eating. Genetics, stress, emotions, and social pressure all play a part. Disordered eating is common – about 22% of kids worldwide struggle with it. But help is available, and recovery is possible.

Deserve Support You Deserve Support

If you ever feel worried about your eating habits – or your child’s – reaching out for help is a strong, loving step.

Where to Start:

start-healtcare
Talk to your health care provider.

Share your concerns and ask about screening or support.

WIC is here for you.

WIC staff and nutritionists can help you understand healthy eating, build a positive food routine, and support both you and your child.

Free Helplines:

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National Alliance for Eating Disorders

Call 1-866-662-1235

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Eating Disorder Hope Helpline:

Call 1-866-662-1235

Learn more:

Eating Disorders: What You Need to Know (NIMH)

Click here to learn more:

nichd.nih.gov
Eating Disorder Screening Tool (ages 13+; not a diagnosis)

Click here to learn more:

nationaleating disorders.org
Mindful Eating (American Heart Association)

Click here to learn more:

heart.org

REFERENCES:

Martini MG, Barona-Martinez M, Micali N. Eating disorders mothers and their children: a systematic review of the literature. Arch Womens Ment Health. 2020 Aug;23(4):449-467. doi: 10.1007/s00737-020-01019-x. Epub 2020 Jan 14.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7368867/

National Eating Disorders Association. (2025). What is the Difference Between Disordered Eating and Eating Disorders?
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/what-is-the-difference-between-disordered-eating-and-eating-disorders/

National Institute of Mental Health. (2024). Eating Disorders: What You Need to Know.
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/eating-disorders

Neumark-Sztainer D, Bauer KW, Friend S, Hannan PJ, Story M, Berge JM. Family weight talk and dieting: how much do they matter for body dissatisfaction and disordered eating behaviors in adolescent girls? J Adolesc Health. 2010 Sep;47(3):270-6. doi: 10.1016/j.jadohealth.2010.02.001.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2921129/

Pastore, Maria et al. Alarming Increase of Eating Disorders in Children and Adolescents
The Journal of Pediatrics, Volume 263, 113733, December 2023.
https://www.jpeds.com/article/S0022-3476%2823%2900596-6/fulltext

Roach E, Viechnicki GB, Retzloff LB, Davis-Kean P, Lumeng JC, Miller AL. Family food talk, child eating behavior, and maternal feeding practices. Appetite. 2017 Oct 1;117:40-50. doi: 10.1016/j.appet.2017.06.001
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/pmid/28587941/

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2024, July 26). Eating Disorders.
https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/what-is-mental-health/conditions/eating-disorders

By Bridget Swinney, MS, RDN, LD

Side-Lying Hold

  1. For the right breast, lie on your right side with your baby facing you.
  2. Pull your baby close. Your baby’s mouth should be level with your nipple.
  3. In this position, you can cradle your baby’s back with your left arm and support yourself with your right arm and/or pillows.
  4. Keep loose clothing and bedding away from your baby.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • You had a C-section
  • You want to rest while baby feeds
  • You are breastfeeding in the middle of the night
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position

Cross-Cradle Hold

  1. For the right breast, use your left arm to hold your baby’s head at your right breast and baby’s body toward your left side. A pillow across your lap can help support your left arm.
  2. Gently place your left hand behind your baby’s ears and neck, with your thumb and index finger behind each ear and your palm between baby’s shoulder blades. Turn your baby’s body toward yours so your tummies are touching.
  3. Hold your breast as if you are squeezing a sandwich. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
  4. As your baby’s mouth opens, push gently with your left palm on baby’s head to help them latch on. Make sure you keep your fingers out of the way.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby is premature
  • Your baby has a weak suck
  • Your baby needs help to stay latched
  • Your baby needs extra head support
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position

Clutch or “Football” Hold

  1. For the right breast, hold your baby level, facing up, at your right side.
  2. Put your baby’s head near your right nipple and support their back and legs under your right arm.
  3. Hold the base of your baby’s head with your right palm. A pillow underneath your right arm can help support your baby’s weight.
  4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Bring baby to you instead.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • You had a C-section
  • You have large breasts
  • You have flat or inverted nipples
  • You have a strong milk let-down
  • You are breastfeeding twins
  • Your baby likes to feed in an upright position
  • Your baby has reflux
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position

Cradle Hold

  1. For the right breast, cradle your baby with your right arm. Your baby will be on their left side across your lap, facing you at nipple level.
  2. Your baby’s head will rest on your right forearm with your baby’s back along your inner arm and palm.
  3. Turn your baby’s tummy toward your tummy. Your left hand is free to support your breast, if needed. Pillows can help support your arm and elbow.
  4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby needs help latching on
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position

Laid-Back Hold

  1. Lean back on a pillow with your baby’s tummy touching yours and their head at breast level. Some moms find that sitting up nearly straight works well. Others prefer to lean back and lie almost flat.
  2. You can place your baby’s cheek near your breast, or you may want to use one hand to hold your breast near your baby. It’s up to you and what you think feels best.
  3. Your baby will naturally find your nipple, latch, and begin to suckle.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby is placed on your chest right after birth
  • You have a strong milk let-down
  • You have large breasts
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position